Updated September 2026: in 2018 I wrote about being assigned a complex bid without the delivery expert I trusted, and instead working with the most difficult expert I had met at the company. I have rewritten it into advice on working with a rude or arrogant subject expert.
For complex bids I was usually paired with a delivery expert I had a good rapport with, and we had completed hard bids with little friction. When I contacted him about a new complex bid, I learned he could not support it and I would work with another expert. I assumed it would go fine. It turned out he was the most difficult person I had worked with there, rude and arrogant with the other people we needed on the bid.
Why are some experts difficult to work with?
Heavy workloads, pressure from their own managers, or a belief that presales work is less important than delivery. Some are simply brusque. Understanding the reason does not excuse rudeness, but it helps you choose how to respond.
How do you work with a rude expert?
- Keep requests precise: exact questions, exact dates.
- Use writing: mail keeps the tone civil and creates a record.
- Protect other teams: step in if the expert is rude to colleagues whose help you need.
- Acknowledge their expertise: it costs nothing and often softens the tone.
When should you raise it?
When behaviour affects the bid or other people. Talk to your manager with specific examples. If the rudeness is abusive, the organisation's workplace conduct policy applies, and HR should be told.
How do you protect a good working relationship?
Stay in touch with the expert you usually work with, even when you are not on a bid together. Good pairings are worth keeping, and managers tend to repeat pairings that have worked.
What does a hard bid teach you?
How to manage without relying on goodwill. That skill makes you useful on any team, including the difficult ones.